Frustration

I have been so frustrated with the fact that I feel like the majority of my friends don't take me seriously. Don't get me wrong, there are a few who support me completely, but there's quite a few of them that I just feel could care less, or think that I'm not serious about things. For instance, if I try to contact a friend of mine about modeling for me for a shoot, she doesn't even respond. Yet she has a friend who JUST started taking photos, and she models for her all the time. Things like this happen more often than not. I'm not going to kid myself either. I know what people say about me when I'm not around, because I have friends that tell me when other friends are talking badly about me. This really, truly does not help my social phobia. Stuff like this happens all the time and I really just don't understand WHY. I also don't understand how some people have a million friends, best friends by their side, and yet they are horrible people. That's just a generality, I'm not thinking of anyone specifically, but it really does confuse me. I'm probably the least conceited person on earth, but I know that I'm a good person. I have a great personality. Why the heck can't other people see that?!

PS. 

Leslie move to Seattle.

kthanksbye.

I get really upset when the people that tell you that 

"you always come first no matter what," 

don't show it. 

Really? 

Don't say that if you aren't going to prove it.

Friends (Rant)

I'm getting really sick and tired of fake friends. I bend over backwards for my friends when things "go wrong" in their lives, yet when something happens to me? No way are they there for me. For those of you who don't know, my mom is being kicked out of her current apartment. Her landlord told her she has to be out by August 1st. She has no job, which means no money, which means no place to go. I'm stressed as hell because my mom is stressed out, and I just want to do something to help and I can't. On top of this, my grandmother has stage four lung cancer. Now, that's all pretty heavy to have happen within the last two weeks. All I asked was for a "friend" to come over today to help distract me for a little while. But no. She was "too tired" to do that. Yet when her boyfriend broke up with her a few days ago, I was right there for her. I tried to get her to come over to my house (since she drives and I don't) and she said she would let me know. Did she? No. I didn't find out she couldn't come over until the next day. Yeah, that works out real well. It's always excuses, fake apologies, and other bullshit. Mostly from this one "friend" but from others too. I really don't ask for much from my friends. To hang out is not a lot to ask. Especially when I'm really needing my friends. You guys hear that? FRIENDS. That's what friends do. They hang out with one another, they are there for each other when they need each other. I seriously don't know who to count on besides Leslie, who lives in Michigan (I'm in Seattle for those who forgot) and Allison. But Allison is going to college soon, and won't be on my side of the water anymore. It really just pisses me off how everyone expects me to be there, waiting on them 24/7 for something to happen in their lives, yet as soon as something happens in mine, it's "sorry /: that sucks" SERIOUSLY PEOPLE? Good god.