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2.28.2011

Beauty


It's quite an amazing gift, when the world rids you of your demons. I, for one, have yet to experience this as a whole, but I know a few people who have overcome more than a lot, and now they are happy, but most of all, they are alive. I have overcome so much in the last year or two. As my dad said when he got home last night, after being away since Friday morning, "You have come so far, me leaving for the weekend a year ago would have brought up so many things for you." I have waited my fair share of time to overcome my life obstacles, and god knows the have been more than simple hurdles. I don't know what it is, what I found, what I brought into my life, mind, body or soul that changed things for me. I haven't "found god" or anything like that, so don't bother mentioning it. I think, more than anything, it was finding the beauty in life. The beauty in the everyday things that I couldn't see before. I wrote a book a long time ago, when I was 15, and it is compiled of writings that I can no longer relate to.. most of them, at least. One of the things in there is wanting someone to show me the beauty in life. Well guess what, past self, I found it without anyone's help. I found the beauty all by myself. The things that we take for granted everyday, are the things that I find to be most helpful in my journey. 

The smell before it rains. The feeling of sleeping on fresh sheets, bonus points if they are fresh out of the dryer. The feeling you get when someone gives you a real hug, none of that one armed side hug crap. The burn on the roof of your mouth the day after you eat hot pizza, but thinking "damn that was a good dinner last night!" The cats meow, which normally drives you nuts, but the house will be all too silent when he is gone. The anxious, excitement as you wait for your turn on the roller coaster. The fast food drive thru at three in the morning, just to get the french fries you've been craving all day (and night). The sun setting over the mountains. The sun rising over the bridge. The accomplishment you feel when you ace your test. The dance you do when you find out you have plans on a Saturday night. The memories you get, good or bad, when you listen to that certain song. When that song comes on the radio. Going to the movies in the daytime, and going outside to be blinded.  Getting a text, from him, but even better, getting a call from him. When someone smiles at you from across the room, and you send telepathic messages to them to come talk to you. A long bath, after an even longer day. A kiss from your dog. A snuggle session with your pet, or even better, your loved one. The feeling you get when you realize it's a three day weekend. Waking up next to someone you like or love.

I know you smiled, thought of someone, or thought of something when you read these. Maybe not all of them, but at least some of them. These are just a few of the things that make like beautiful, and I am so happy that I have found them, finally,

4 comments:

  1. I'm so happy that you were able to find what you were looking for, yourself too, m'dear! :) I'm so proud of you for all that you have overcome in your life and the person you are today!

    Don't let anyone else tell you otherwise. If they do, they're full of lies and don't matter.

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  2. Thank youuu! (:
    I love you best friendd! (:

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  3. I love you too girl! :)

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